he said photocopy but he meant cloning
which he thought was possible for some reason or another. haha.

Taxi driver: What airline should I drop you off at.
Me: *checks paper printout* Orbitz... I mean... South Western.

:(

"i don't know, i think sonic youth are ripping off red jumpsuit apparatus"

haha.

i was walking down the stairs in my old building, a guy was walking next to the stairs, i had my hand in my pocket and the guy said 'take that gun out of your pocket, motherfucker!!!!!' and started running away.

'excuse me, could you tell me where the hospital is?'
'follow this road, then turn left and then it's on your left side after about two hundred meters.'
'ha ha. you're fooling me eh? well you won't fool me! nah!'
and she turned the other way. i as quite speechless and still wondering if she ever found the hospital.

no, i think she was in her late thirties or something.

And then your boyfriend pulls it up to the guy's face and in his best Jersey mobster voice goes, "Yeah, there have been. And you're the next one, motherfucker."

God what waste of human cells said that?

someone said to me 'i'm not racist but i hate all indians'.

This britsh guy talking to my mom "The 4th of july? Wasn't that when the americans got the freedom from the indians?"

"So does your dad have, like, 9 wives?"

"women pee through their belly buttons"

we were in elementary school, but still, this poor little fucker was sorely misinformed.

Misinformed...what do you mean?:confused:

"Don't be gay. Suck my dick."
__

Someone said that in a million years everyone would look asian because we'd be so mixed by then, but my friend goes "I won't. I'll be dead" in a completely serious voice. He was joking of course, but it was hilarious.
__

And the best one (from a naive 15 year old girl that looks like she is 12):

"Fisting is like getting punched, right?"

i know a variant of this one:

*guy tells another guy*: don't be a fag and kiss me in the mouth

I hear things like that all the time. It's funny the first time, but after that...meh.

yeah i know, it usually works when out drinking and dude gestures his (ugly, unshaved) face forward.

I was once going out with a blonde bimbo.

She often opened her mouth in the name of stupidity.

One occasion that sticks in my mind was when we were in the pub and she asked for a packet of dry roasted peanuts.

Then, as she's eating them, says to everyone at the table:

"I really like these, you know. I wonder what they make them out of."

"Why have got a girl's name?" That never gets old :rolleyes: