try dried fugu dust.

once he's a zombie, train him to do the laundry.

at least, that's what I'd do.

^Yeah, just do that.

I had a housemate last year who shares a similar personality to the one you described (a total prick). But what tipped us over the edge was when she conveintly threw a party when none of us were in the house, which resulted in smashed windows and laptops getting stolen etc. We all built up the courage and asked her to leave, which went suprisingly well.

Oh, and her cat never shit in my bedroom again, which was a bonus.

My flatmate (and more annoyingly, the girl who lives next to me; we basically share a double bed separated by a wall) is the worst little shit on the world. Unfortunately though theres no way I can get to her leaves accept reporting her for one of the following; leaving food (often uncooked meat) out for 3 weeks, nicking my food and kitchen stuff and not washing it up, smoking weed in her room, playing music so loud I can feel the vibrations in my stomach at 3am, having her boyfriend living in her room for weeks on end, when he's not there, getting fucked by some black dude (I don't mind people having sex in the flat, but if they're gonna do it, they ought to sound like they're having good sex), being a bitch. But I'm too nice to report her or anything. I'll end up just putting up with it...

you could do the dishonorable thing, stash all the weed in his room, rat him out to the cops: "he's been dealing, all sort of stange people would show up". that would get rid of him quickly, one way or another.

of course then you'd have to live with yourself forever--but how do you do get rid of that roommate?

hmmmm...

I was going to to say start smoking weed cuz many roommates don't like that kind of thing, but in this case I suppose it would have the opposite effect.


two things two.

maybe you should get him a little weed to calm down, I mean regardless if he deserves it or not, is bastard or not, I imagine it would calm him down a bit and solve one of your more demanding problems..

now the long term solution?




and if yr more Christianized such as myself and voodun is not yr thing..

maybe




there is always santeria..

no takers?

Peach-flavored is horrible. Tell him cherry cola is where it's at!

here's one: fuck with the plumbing. unhook the chain from the tank valve, turn off the sink at the input. Nothing drives a person nuts like problematic fixtures.

listen to burzum very loud. do nothing. post about it.....gone.

kill yourself in protest to his antics.

^ self-immolation only fixes your problem if you manage to get him in a giant bear-hug right as you burst into flame OR if you manage to burn down the dwelling with him trapped inside. But, given the sense of humor of the cosmos, either way you'd probably be spending eternity together.

Strangle him and bury his body in a drum full of acid.

HaydenAsche is a fag-tard.

Quite true. At least I'm not a registered sex offender, though. I've got that on you.

Touche!!! How was I supposed to know that your mom was only 12 when I fathered you?

Possibly the fact that you forced yourself upon her in her middle school classroom?

Dude. She was asking for it. Practically BEGGING for it!

NO MEANS YES.

i feel for yr situation.
But if he's no the lease too yr prob best just up and leaving with yr other roomie, even though it means moving again.
Or just ask him to leave, then if he doesn't want to, see above.
Otherwise.. Make some dodgy friends that will nick his bad records to sell for drugs and what not?
There is no easy way out sadly.