i think im done w/my best friend after like a 12 yr friendship. im a confused mix of devastated & pissed. its quite disheartening. :( :mad:

i have class in four hours. five hours? no four. i dunno.

that's why i'm going to class, to finally learn math.

fuckin' waste-a time.

i can't sleep and my back HURTS

You sound like Bridget Jones.

i have a million prescriptions for a million different things but most helpfully percocet for a condition i've had for years that causes chronic pain, i have to watch it though because i have addictive tendencies. i try not to take so many drugs these days. thinking about just saying fuck it and taking shitloads of pills like the old days. i felt better.

I have tinnitus since some years now, always could handle it quite well but since a month or so it got fucking bad.
It's hard to concentrate and focus on things for longer than half a minute....
... then comes the fucker in the ear, occupying my brain.

i've had that for years too, it's fucking annoying

How did you get rid of it?

oh it's never going away. i listen to music super loud and stand right in front at shows and play guitar at excessive volumes on a regular basis. i'm fucked for life.

Cymbalta, an antidepressant, seems to be helping with my tinitus.

I also wear earplugs a lot and external hearing protection when vacuuming.
Won't help, but keeps damage from getting worse...

I was just at a concert on Sat and with earplugs, the volume was just about perfect--I can no longer imagine going to concerts without 'em.

Keep yr current attitude. Pain killer addiction can be as bad as heroin. I started taking em when I was in my early twenties and now I am trying to come off of them. I've wasted a decade and drown way too much money into that shit. It is definitly not worth it. Especially with an addictive personality.

yeah i know, i've been there, heroin, pain pills, cocaine, downers, everything. it sucks. it consumes you. i just don't wanna feel like shit and my insurance (YES !@£$@£!@£$@ I HAVE INSURANCE NOW) is paying for it, it's not like i'm going and scoring on the street. i have to take downers or drink to sleep. i have to take painkillers if i want to be able to walk right. it's not about getting wasted anymore, i've done that to death. i just want to feel okay.


/rationale for drug abuse

I gotcha ....I have to take xanax for my anxiety. I just have to monitor closely how many i consume. I will probably never be able to totally be free of them cauise I start hallucinating and hearing shit when I run out. Prozac does minimal to control it. Thats how I am noe I just want to feel like normal people do that is it. New york and yr man being good to you? you seem to have found a bit of happiness. I am happy for you.

Satan: never mind I just read you're getting married! Great news I am so happy for you!!!! When u luv him and that is what u want marriage is the best. My Ryan is my best friend and has been for 15 years now. I wish you the best of luck!!!! RED not white.:):):)

thank you!!!! i'm super duper excited, he caught me totally off guard because we just got back together recently after being separated for about 8 months (going out for 4-5 years before that). we've been through more shit together than anyone i know, done a lot of wrong to each other, but at the end of the day i will never love anyone like this. i cried almost every day when we were apart even though i got a new boyfriend and we still hung out.

as for the pills, i take downers to sleep, percocet for pain, antidepressants and mood stabilizers for insane bipolar. what a life.

ps i'm actually wearing turquoise but i thought about red. FUCK white. white is for virgins. and i look like shit in white anyway.

I wore my moms wedding dress it was hand made from the 70's. WE played my bloody valentine and Santana at the ceremony and alot of other wierd shit. It was quite interesting to the redneck family members.

I know about all that insane shit me and Rayn (especially Ryan) better than being a sheep though I suppose. Anyway i really am happy for you. You are a sweet person and deswerve the best. I fucking love turqouise I have been going through a little stage with it. So beachy and lovely. Nice pick.

i bet that looked totally awesome, all the best vintage is from the 70s. and excellent music selection by the way.
& ahahahaha you might be the first person who ever called me sweet. people think i'm a huge bitch because i act real sarcastic and never hesitate to tell someone to shut the fuck up but i'm secretly extremely emotional and very motherly.
turquoise is my favorite color! with silver shoes. i can't wait.

awesome. congrats.

wait. this is the complaint thread. hmmm....

hey gail you have kiddos right? would you recommend it? we're kinda young but we want a little family.....

ha ha holy shit. are you the same person that 6 months ago swore she'd never ever ever reproduce?

ah ha ha ha ha ha.

if we had made bets, i'd be collecting money now.

complaint: damn! i didn't put money on this!

it's always been a secret (i mean REALLY secret) wish of mine, i've had serious doubts in the past but in my heart of hearts all i want is my own little family, a mom and a dad who love each other and a baby, not a mom and a dad who i have not one memory of them together, who hate each other and me growing up feeling like i wasn't ever really accepted by any of them or anyone else.

not so secret-- ive always known you were a softie. oh yeah.

anyway, congrats on seeing the world as a place worth bringing new life to. if you were depressed, you wouldn't think so.

yeah yeah, satan's a pussy, get all your laughs out now

for the record i still think the world sucks

ha ha ha i don't think you're "a pussy", i've just always known that you're not the tough-ass bitch you sometimes pretend to be-- you actually have what people refer to as "feelings". which is actually great.

/ducks wooden clog

there's nothing about wanting to have children that makes you a pussy.

That is why I like you we have many sinilarities (i meant similarities but the typo looks better) I can see the motherlyness in you that ia awesome. People always say it, but my kids truly are the joy in my life.

yes turquoise and silver very nice. You have to show us yr wedding gear when you get it. I wore some crazy glitter pink 8" heels (ryan's 6'-5) they were awesome. Of course by the end I was running around in my tights fucked up heels really hurt.

Oh yes. In my view since you mentioned you guys have been kind of on and off for years I think yr meant to be together. A couple that can have some massive fights can have massive love and strength cause that means you are honest with each other. First ingrediant to a lasting marriage. Kids are great if you are ready. I will not sugar coat it. It is A LOT of WORK. and they will drive you insane, but you get used to it and they do get easier as they grow. The best part is how much happiness they bring into the world. They are so innocent and needing. They have not been scorned by the world yet and love you more than anyone on earth ever could. When I feel selfish or depressed I look at them laughing and playing and thier excitement over the little things we don't notice it helps me to get up and keep going if only for them.

They teach you patience big time. I was 24 when I had my 1st. I was young, but ready. I personally wanted to have my kids before 30. It is much easier on your body and your baby has less risk of health issues. Plus the recovery of your body is much better. I have some stretch marks and a c-section scar, but I weigh less than I did when I was 17 and don't look to bad for 32.

I am done at 2 kids though. I like my indepandace to an extent and am lucky enough to have my ryan at home with the young ones right now. I don't think it would be fair to my 2 babies for me to have more I want to give them as much love as possible.


Sorry for the tangent moms like to talk about this shit.;)

That is what all of us grls want. LOVE. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Srsly complain more dammit. There's only one on this page WTF guys.




Anyway! I'm stuck in this fuckng truck. This damn battery is catching fir when I try to turn it on. Fuckkkrnrifntogogjrn now I have to wait for a fucking mechanic. WTF! I wasn't even suppose to take this damn truck fck!

OK for fucks sake!!!!I just gotSLAMMMMMED with government work goodbye for a few days!

Thats what I'm talkin aboot. Fuck!

in a world where Sonic Youth can be on Gossip Girl, where Satan can get engaged, where a portable hard drive can have two terabytes of memory, why can't i get some fucking avocado on my goddamn salad???????

out of season? global warming? plagues? they got rotten? sunken cargo ships? the california raisins are waging war against the avocados? they've been abducted by UFOs? i could think of more explanations...

they have the avocado there! but they "do not put it on salads"

fucking asshoels!

ask the shitbags for "a side of avocado" and add it yourself.

tip accordingly.

I am complaining NOW because I could have used yr sage advice EARLIER you bastard!

eh! there's always tomorrow.

the "Hopeful" thread is buried somewhere in the SYG Forum nether-regions, go print your optimism there! ha!

ha ha-- i didn't know you were planning to fast-- it's a good time of the year for that, with the hot weater

pull a jack nicholson chicken salad sandwich move next time