Well, I guess. I do run the a/c b/c I can't stand the humidity. But in September I should be able to shut it down again. Since it's just me and the doggie, I normally don't turn on more than one light or so in the evening, just enough to read by in the living room or in the bedroom. The stereo or the TV's going for a few hours, but I guess that must not be much of a draw.

I also only fill up my gas tank about every 2 weeks. I simply don't have to drive a lot or far most of the time. Work's about 5 miles away, downtown less than that.

If I had not had kids or gotten married that may have been where I ended up. I am insane but I luv them more than some stupid ass substance. Yes I admit it is beneficial when you are ready. It is just getting past the idea that you can't do that anymore and you will always want to.

I would love to sell my body some time but I'd be afraid of dealing with the rejection if nobody bought it.

I'm starting to wonder why I've just been giving it away all this time.

must be the medication.

Have g-girl put a quarter in the jar every time she wants it.

i'll give you my body, just sell me your soul

talking on the phone makes my blood boil

Damn, I wish I didn't have these friends coming in. Now I gotta go do stuff like buy food and beer and clean the apartment. Damn them.

I stopped using hard drugs after I started dating my current gf...not because she made me get clean (in fact, she never made me do anything), but because i realized that i would completely fuck up the relationship if i didn't start changing my behavior... once again though, i'm lucky that i was never at all addicted to anything.

That is awesome and I commend you. Lord knows it isn't easy! Yr smart to get yr priorities straight early on if u luv her. My husband and I have been through this together. We give each other strength when the other needs it.

Yeah, I mean, I still go out and party. My gf is always invited but she's a lot more introverted/cautious than I am. I just don't do stupid things that would hurt either myself or her. I'm much more careful now a days. Getting drunk with a ride home is okay. Doing stuff that can be damaging isn't.

Keep that state of mind and you will save yrself alot of trouble

some motherfucker caught me slipping drunk last night and sucker punched me in the neck, which resulted in a fight I was not planning on having. Luckily he was perhaps drunker than I, so I came out of that one on top, but it was fucking silly as shit! bastard! then he and some dudes tried to jump me after the fact cuz he couldn't just kick my ass.. like pac said, "niggaz think they johnny dangerous when they 50 deep.. you aint shit without yr homeboyz.."

Nice story.

I'm not sure that I'm up for the last hour of work. and by that, I mean, somebody call my fluffer.

What's a fluffer.

don't make me be the one that destroys yr innocence.

yr a lot younger than cryptowonderdruginvogue would have us believe.

Why do you think I ask so many dumb questions, Mister?

I've got the love bug. I've never been in love before but I'm not sure if I am now or just really like this girl and like the idea of being in love. Im dead strapped for cash. My band is going great but I hate about everything else thats goin on. I've had 2 3somes with two girls and it's whatever. I want to succeed in music and want to be a rockstar but at the same time fucking hate the idea of a rockstar and hate it as much as I love it. But I dont want to do anything else. Also I've got the perfect relationship, shes not needy and is bi and is smart and wise as hell, but Im the one starting to get needy and miss her and want to talk to her all the time. I've never been like this before and I hate it, I hate learning something new about myself. I think I have a split personality, but sometimes I feel like a heartless bastard, and then the rest of the time I feel like a whiny, needy, pussy child. wtf? I need a job, maybe just gotta find something to do with my time besides music. Im also quitting cigs and trying to live healtheir cuz i've been sick for about 2 1/2 weeks...open relationships are a mindfuck!

I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.

i'm about to have a nervous breakdown my head really hurts if i dont find a way outta hear im gonna go beserk cuz im crazy and im hurt


advice:
don't be a rock star
don't quit smoking
tell that girl how much you like her

I need to quit smoking. It's just fucking me up too much these days, constantly sick!

ok well don't be a rock star because it destroys people

Anything I/we can do to help? I'm serious.

who is WE? there is no we.

don't you recognize a black flag lyric when you see one?

I had this nightmare last night that I'm never going to get to rejoin my wife. It fucked up my day completely.

There's the editorial we.

clarify?

Ya Im the one having the nervous breakdown gmku

Sorry. I lost the thread. Anything I/we can do to help? I'm serious.

I'm having an existential breakdown I think! I dunno.

What's the next step after you realize yr a needy puss? besides crying about it and cutting yrself, that's not my style.

I even went to my friends last night and got drunk and listened to so much badass Fall records on vinyl. He just got first edition dragnet!

maybe I just need to listen to more fall records....

classic example cobain.

money and fame do crazy things to people.

That's all I do though! is pursue music. No backup. No college.

Music, sleep, caffeine, and food. A lot of good, i.e., healthy, food. Stay away from drugs (except coffee) and alcohol during this time--I'm fucking serious about that.

Eventually you'll come through this.

Will do my best! we have a show tonight and a show tomorrow night so, fuck.

Stay cool, man. We're pulling for ya.

yeah but rockstardom is a very different beast from being a musician.

good luck at yr show. as if you need it, your band kicks ass.

Don't worry, I'm not going to off myself or do anything crazy...I've just got 1001 feelings boiling under the surface that I can't quite label at the momet, like a bunch of static.

thanks!

But it's what I want to make my living off of. & be known for...

sonic youth are not rock stars.