the overheard conversation thread
 

in the grocery store the other day, by the fresh vegetables a woman was reaching for a cucumber when the sprinklers came on. she says to her friend,

"ah! i hate it when that happens!"

"what's wrong?"

"it got me all wet!"

"it's just water - it's not going to kill you."

[mock seductively] "yeah - but it gets me all wet."

girl in hyde park leeds to another girl:

'i think they are all gorgous'
'what all of them'?
'yes and i am going to have them all'
'you cant have all of them'
'yes i can, i am only in the first year'
'yeh but you cant sleep with the whole football team'
'yeh i can! have you seen them all'?

I already replied to this same thread on the noise board but I'll paste it here.

Last night, I heard this fat black chick going, "WELL, MY PROBATION OFFICER DIDN'T CARE!"

I work in a grocery store so as you can imagine I hear all kinds of scummy things...

One of my favorites was this total weirdo Charles Manson looking dude coming in at 4 AM and asking me if we have any anhydrous ammonia.. I said "no" and he stared at me, wordless, for about a minute.. and walked off...

Also, a few months back, I saw a chick stuffing a full loaf of bread down her sweatpants...

One of the weirder things that has happened recently was a customer came over and starting working with me, he put up a few of my boxes of stuff (I work in the frozen foods area) and then walked by me and I noticed he had done that and was like, "uh.. thanks man..?!" (you know, because it doesn't really make sense for a customer to do my work for me) And he turned around, gave me this cool, like, gun-shaped finger-point at me and went, "No prob!" and then made a *click* sound from his gun-shaped finger.. if you know what I mean. The fuck.

One time, I heard a chick saying into her cellphone, "Well, maybe you should go shoot her face then!" I always wondered if she was talking about cum, a gun, or a camera being shot..

Uh.. that's all I can think of right now.

"No, no, on the computer. Yes. Windows on the computer. No, not the actual window... Windows is the name of the programme on the computer..."

I stopped listening then.

me on the phone with an idiot

"OK, just make sure to turn your monitor off"

(them) "Monitor?"

"Yes, the monitor. Make sure it is turned off, the on/off button is on the lower right."

"ooooooohhh-kay....the monitor under my desk right?"

"No. The monitor, the 'TV' that is your computer screen."

"I don't have a TV Roberto!"

"OK, I'll be right there."



stupid shit like this Happens WAY TOO OFTEN

"Who threw that ham at me?"

here's a website dedicated to overheard conversations:

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

''Hello, ..... reservations, can i help?''

''Yes, ermmmmmmm, I would like to book a table for 2 people in the ......... for the 12th of July, ermmmmm, let me check the date, one moment.''

''No problem.''

''Yes, it's the 12th of July for 2 people.''

''Sure, what time would you like the table for?''

''Ermmm, the play I think starts at 7:30 pm, so what do you suggest?''

'' I'd say 6:00 pm, it's the popular time slot for people who watch the plays that start at 7:30 pm.''

''That's fine.''

''It'll be one moment, please.''

''Thanks.''

''Right, so that's 2 people at 6:00 pm on the 12th of July in the ........''

''Thanks.''

''Thank you and we'll see you then.''

''Bye.''

''Goodbye.''

Hmm - perhaps I don't get it.

I cut out the name of the place I'm taking the booking for. Duh!

"so he put out these tattoo videos, for people to like, tattoo themselves at home"

"yeah"

"i think he was just a junkie looking for his next fix"

"ha ha ha ha, did you learn anything"

"naaa, but the vietnamese kids in the demonstrations certainly did"

"yuck"

"yeah, i know"

"is that hurting"

"no, its not too bad"

"you know a tattoo on your ribs is going to hurt a lot too, maybe not as much as this"

"hmmmmmmmmmmmm"

Your conversation ain't funny. DUH!

hilarious

a drunken Princeton alum stumbling to his car from a renunion on campus with the help of his wife -

"Our kids are NOT going here."

MY BARTENDER WAS ON METH TODAY

she denied me drink and i had to speak to the manager

she was a worn-out truckdrivers wife

she was likely on meth but i am incapable of providing soundtrack

"I've been here less than 24 hours and I've already gotten off with a Deptford special"

I once heard a middle aged man in a suit on the phone saying "Do you remember Mrs (I can't remember the name now)? She had an organ in her back room."

I don't think he realised the sexual innuendo.

"oh my god it's EVERYWHERE"

Man on the phone, working at a store I was in:
"Just send me the papers or I'm going to get really fucking mad. I'm fucking sick of this, I just want you to send the god damn papers."

Kid I know, talking to some other kid:
Yeah I used to live on the street, I had a big problem with crack."
(That is pure bull by the way...)

My teacher:
"Hey it's me, I'm not feeling well so I wont be coming in today... HAHAHA! Yeah, I'm just kidding. HAHAHA! So do you have any news?"

Who gives a shit. It wasn't meant to be. DUH DUH!