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Originally Posted by ZEROpumpkins
I could rant on about what exactly is wrong, but I'll try to keep it short: Nothing happens in my life aside from the daily routine. I get on the bus, go to school, talk to some people I hang out with, avoid awkward conversations with people I sort-of know, go home, then start again the next day. Weekends are spent at home 75% of the time. My friends live too far away. Worst of all is the total inability to make music. It was probably the only thing I did in my free time, and something I was actually satisfied with for a small time, but now everything that motivated me is gone.
I understand that life gets better after high school, but I want to know if there is a way to cope with it. I am actually scared that I will kill myself sometime soon if something does not change. Seriously. This is not a sympathy thread. I don't want to hear "everything will be ok". I want to hear your experiences and how you coped with them. Thanks.
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What grade are you in?? The further in highschool people get it seems the more depressed they become. If I hadn't left my highschool in willmar, I probably would have committed suicide. I tried twice - once as a freshmen, once as a sophmore. And seriously I think it is because of routine. I felt like I was fucking meaningless, you know? No purpose, that sort of shit.
But things are better now.
What you need is a change of scenery.. Dave was right about working out, it makes you feel good and look good! And what helped me getting out of my funk was making new friends. Not like I was all, "FUCK YOU." to the old ones, but drifting in social circles does help eliviate stress. Maybe having more in depth conversations with those people you sort of know would do you good??
I really wish you peace. Maybe take a yoga class? It sounds sort of lame, but my self-esteem and mental health have been faring pretty amazingly since I started my yoga class. Its the mix of movement and meditation that helps, and if you have a good instructor it can be pretty psychologically beneficial too.